Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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