maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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