just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
