just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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