for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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