Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
