After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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