Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
