Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
