I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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