And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
