he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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