He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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