Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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