You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
