I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
