You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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