I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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