I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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