Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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