Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
