Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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