Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize
