I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i will never coherently bang her
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
