It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
