you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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