So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
