so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
