And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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