Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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