this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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