my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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