my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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