is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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