I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
