You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
