i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I had to cum in my sink.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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