hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
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When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
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Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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