I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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