I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
