All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
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Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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