Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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