Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
