In the future we'll all be gay
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
