I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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