I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
