I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What a dumb baby whore.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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