I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize