that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize