Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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