i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I want a musical about memes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
