yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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