What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
