I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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