Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
