yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Let's get the cat blown out
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
