i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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