Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize