her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize