Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
