Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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