Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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