would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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